2nd day of 2018

Last few weeks i was afraid that when new year come i will find my self going down again.

I started to see the symptoms from yesterday.. today is the first day of work. I just want to be left alone. Maybe because my room became a base camp. One is watching asian drama really loudly and the other watching YouTube also loudly.

I’m super annoyed coz they can’t see what i was doing. Fine if I’m browsing or playing but i was working. I can’t prevent myself from thinking that they r selfish.

Also these last few days mom keep getting on my nerves. The look of her eyes. The tone of her voice. Looks like she hated me. Just kill me if you hate me.

I feel so many resentment. Fee like crying. Hopefully it’s just pms.

Now that he’s gone. I will go through this alone.


Lonely Christmas again..

Went for breakfast with family at our usual hangout market. Had a fulfilling breakfast.

Came back home and kept missing that person.

Actually missed that person since 2 days ago.

Kept thinking of him in my mind and feel something in my heart.

It sucked. I want to hate him but I can’t.

The thought of chat him came to my mind but I resist myself coz I promised not to do so.

I did ticked his name on my broadcast list for winter solstice and x’mas coz it’s a broadcast but only read and no reply.

That’s ok that’s his choice to reply or not.

It’s also my choice to broadcast or not.

14 dec 2017

I just want to be in your heart but you had told me from the very beginning that you have only 25% heart and the rest are logic.. and there’s no space for me in that 25%. I wonder if your new girl has even a tiny dot inside your heart.

i knew your almost heartless but somehow my heart n mind care too much about you.

I just don’t want to be lonely during special days like Christmas & NYE.. CNY.. Val’s day.. i want my own special guy that i can share those days with.. with whom i can tell my holiday trips about..

but here i am.. lonely on years end again..

When will this change?

10 itu..

10 itu punya banyak arti byat sy sekarang.
10 hari lagi libur tiba.
10 kg itu berat yg sy wish untuk hilangkan sebelum libur.
10 hari diet jus supaya bisa tercapai
10 itu level godaan diet karna besok weekend dan sudah janji sama nyokap mau ke pasar dimana ada tukang mie langganan.
10 itu jumlah resep jus yg mau di browsing
10 hari fingers crossed

Browsing resep jus dulu ah…

It’s Working !!!

Besok sudah 1 minggu dari post motivation dan 26 Juni – 13 Juli. Selama 1 minggu ini saya rasakan sih ada progress dan yang paling penting saya merasa tetap sehat gak lemes2.

Berat ada kurang walaupun gak signifikan, 2 hari ini saya timbang ada turun tapi jumlah pasti nya saya gak tau karna tidak saya itung. Jadi asal digit ke 2 turun jadi termotivasi lg.

Tinggal 1.5 minggu lagi dari liburan. Semoga bisa kurang semaksimal mungkin ya..

Tantangan selanjutnya kontrol makan dan selipin olahraga saat liburan. Dari dulu liburan selalu pikir mau jaga makan biar gak naik berat nya dan prakteknya memang cuma di pikiran doang hahaha mulut mah beda cerita lagi. Kali ini goal nya at least timbangan gak naek. Tantangan mulai dari bandara nih.. banyak jajanan sih.